Artist: AC/DC
Song title: Problem Child
Album: Let There Be Rock
YOOOO WHAT UP FAM!!! It’s ya boy Tommy Tendies here and I’m about to drop another tendy review so ya’ll just gonna have to deal with it!
Today’s review is The Deck in Salisbury, MA. As the name implies, it is a trendy hot spot that wishes it were in Newburyport. Located at the mouth of the Merrimack River, you’ll find people in flip flops, polo shirts and designer sunglasses galore. Offering valet parking is a nice touch as the parking lot could be a tad tricky after consuming several cape codders.
An open layout guarantees a view no matter where you are seated, but our server placed us right at the end of the deck for a most spectacular optical scene. The menu features many seafood appetizers, but The Deck knows you aren’t a real restaurant unless you’ve got tendies on the menu. Here’s how it reads:
CHICKEN TENDERS
Brined & Buttermilk-fried | Choice of Sauce
No lie, I get a little nervous if I don’t see a price on the menu. What if I’m living above my means? What if these tendies cause me to default on my student loans? What if Trump imposes a tariff on tendies? These are all valid concerns. Also, how do you fry something in buttermilk?! Luckily this meal was bankrolled by some investor friends of mine. Let’s dive in!
Presentation Score: 4/5
Very efficient placement of the greens and buffalo tenders onto one side of the plate left plenty of room for maneuvering them and delegating them to my table mates. The buffalo sauce was contained to one side as well, avoiding unnecessary messes. The carrots and celery were placed on top, but the greens on the bottom had the weight of several tendies on top them, and so died a horrible, lonely death by asphyxiation. Also, there is a growing trend in plastic one time sauce containers. These should be banned, like our friends in California did to plastic straws.
Chicken Score: 4.5/5
They say the chicken is a nervous bird (or atleast Jim Harbaugh does), but eating this chicken didn’t make me nervous at all. Each tendy was substantial. Cooked very well, this was the real thing. Most definitely cooked fresh, not out of a freezer. Sometimes it can be hard to describe chicken when its cooked well, because it is just the vehicle that flavor is riding on. Nice job here.
Breading Score:3.5/5
The Deck really had a chance to shine here in what I think is some kind of cornflake breading. It had all the makings of a nice crispy finish, but it fell a little flat. This could be due to other factors including the overabundance of sauce as well as a possible prolonged wait for the rest of our appetizers to come out. To be fair, we did order six appetizers.
Sauce Score 4/5
This was a well rounded vintage sauce with some nice cayenne overtones. There was some nice flavor involved here, but they definitely went overboard on the amount of sauce that had been applied. Again, I feel this played a roll in the lack of crunch on the breading so I had to knock off a point for this. The sauce also has a tendency to bring the temperature of the chicken down which gives the illusion of the tenders sitting at an expo counter waiting for delivery. Easy up on the sauce and these tendies could be simply divine!
Dressing Score 4/5
In all honesty, I’m having trouble remembering the bleu cheese that this dish was served with. It’s possible that the seven months it took me to make this review are to blame, but I’m under the impression that the Titos and Cranberries are more at fault. I consulted with my tablemates and they assured me that the bleu cheese was indeed spectacular. I have to trust my colleagues, and so I’ve arrived at a score of 4.
Final Score – 4/5
I’ll give credit where credit is due, The Deck was able to pump out some quality tendies for a place that specializes in seafood. Combine that with mingling with the social elite of MA/NH seacoast, and this place is a recipe for success. Cool off after a long day at the beach with some great views and even better tendies.
That’s it for now folks! If you have any recommendations for my next review, be sure to leave a comment and I’ll try my best not to ignore it.
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